MY FACE

before any one reads this just know that this poem was written last year and that it was my way of getting through things. Any negative opinions or comments that are felt is therefore kept to yourself because this is my page and this is what I wanted to express on my facebook.. any positve comments please fel free to share.. just know that God is working through me and in me.. Love ya..M FACE: 01/06/2009"Here I am, humbled by the love that you give, forgiven so that I CAN "forgive"I am HUMAN... I have natural instincts... I have natural reflexes and I have natural abilities.Most importantly...I have SIN...cold-blooded fleshly sin that has a mind of its own.I am also saved...I have Christ and his unconditional and irreplaceable love for me.I have his life in my heart. I have his forgiveness... His undefying, self-sacrificial forgiveness that erases all my debt. He gave me that power to forgive others though. He gave me the responsibility to forgive others.I sit here and am amazed that i dont know how to handle it. Its just be one or actually two people.Its not suppse to be a big deal Right? I mean Christ forgave all-and all is definitly more than one or two.How'd he do it? How did his facial expression convince us that he was serious.My face fails me. Do I need a new one? one that obviously backs up the words "I forgive you"in an attempt to make you believe me. How easy life would be if we all wore paper bags over our head.I could forgive and get away with it. I make forgiveness sound like a sin. Well the way I forgive must be.It doesnt convince even me. Its all a lie. My face betrays my word of mouth. What Am i suppose to do? No matter which way i turn-it ends up being all wrong. I could just not say it at all cause i know I dontmean it or I could say it and hope it kicks in sooner than later. But still my face-it gives me away.What should I do with each significant part of me that reacts to mess I'm entitled to forgive.What do i do with the pain and hatred stuck in my throat...?Swallow it in bitterness or release it in gossip, slander, and anger.What do i do with my quivering mouth...?frown in a remorse pool of tears or smile in suffering as though my lips will be scarred for life.What does my nose do when it flairs up in rage...?Inhale the poisen of that trecherous situation till I suffocate, or exhale the toxic of dissapointment and revenge.What do I do with my ears that distinctively recognize the laughter and love of the individuals behavior...?ignore them in paranoia in a failed attempt, or suffer alone as my ears try to find coverings thick enough to escape their present voices.What does my eyes so aware of any particular movement do when engulfed with scenes of happiness in exchange for mine?close them blindly as i walk around in self pity or bear the burning tingly evidence of my struggleto get past another minute as i roll them around.What role does my mind play as it rewinds uncontrollably the insanity and murder of my heart..?Think it out in anxiety, or reherse the steps to forget every chance I remember endlessly. My face BETRAYS ME.... It DECEIVES ME. I cannot run. I'm stuck... I'm Trapped.MY face has already recognized the situation. When I do run, that face will still be there.I am stuck with this face.I cannot run from this face. Jesus knew how; he knew what to say.He gave me amazing powers to react after his model. But my face was not there when his face did it.I know the act to follow but am blinded to his reaction.I am human... I have sin... I have Christ.. and I have his love.He forgave all.. He gave me the responsibility to forgive others.And these two-are nothing compared to the amount christ has. and still... I am HUMAN and I am lost.I am weak and he is strong.HOW DOES MY FACE FORGIVE?