Silence is loud

Silence is LOUD' 07/04/2009In a quiet building, in my little room, with no noise to wrestle me.
I sit in sadness as I wait for the stillness to be free.
Its crazy though how quietness can really tear you down,
because it makes the thoughts and words grow softer all around.
And then you're left with you alone to deal with everything,
of pain, of hurt, of emptiness, of missing family.
You deal with all the memories you try so hard to loose,
of being hurt and immature of all your donts and do's.
You bear with silence in your tears and sounds of ticks and tocks
as you sit amgonst your naked couch and feel your body rock.
You deal with hatred boiling and everything in between,
of times you wished you weren't so dumb and blindness could be seen.
And most of all you deal with...suffocating from this grasp,
that silence builds and stillness fills as it lasts and lasts and lasts.
And out the window of your room, life seems to act the same,
like "peace be still" and "love is real" and Angies just "insane"
No crickets heard, no doors are slammed just me, myself and I,
wishing change did not and family did, stay ever sweetly by.
How change continues is ironic for it seems its constantly,
revolving, removing, reillistrating my life for all to see.
The wisphers begged to be heard from families in my past,t
o keep my silence dead and gone and joy that seems to last.
Voices heard once everyday are miles and days apart,
while life right here in my small room cuts deeper in my heart.
For granted it will never be how once the noise proclaimed,
rants and raves, fights galore and sisters with "A" names.
My sweet lil sisters oh how I miss, the shouts that always spilled,
cuz now my tears are in its place and it constantly will build.
Along with God you helped me heal to get back on my feet,
with laughs and jokes of life itself, and our memories to repeat.
And now i "think" the loudly voices try hard to come to life
but when i blink and stare beside, i know my sight aint right.
Its empty... my room I mean, I imagined it was full,
so silence plays its tricks on me because its quietly cruel.
But in my hand there stands a phone that rings so very low,
and then "Hello, hey sis whats up, we miss you very so."
and for a minute noise comes back and brightens up my day
because those girls i hold so close in every single way.
And in my room, I sit and sit and listen one by one,
to Ashley talk, and Audrey laugh, and Alanna having fun.
But times won't stop and phones dont wait for me to be suffice,
it works its way so easily for me to pay the price.
And bye's do come and clicks are heard, as I wrestle with my phone,
and wait for noise to leave my place and silence to condone.
And then my phone just startles me as message just appears,.............
"SIS WE LOVE AND MISS YOU GIRL, BE STRONG FOR US MY DEAR"